Passing Time
by monophobian
Summary: Time moves differently for different people in different situations. For a grieving Kagome, time passes in moments. Warning: Character Death


_This is a gift for Maddie-san._

_A/N: Maddie asked for fluff. This isn't really fluff, but it has fluff-y moments? I don't know where this came from, but it's what came out when I sat down to write for her. Even though I'm a couple days late, happy birthday! _

_Also, in Japan, red camellias (tsubaki) signify love._

* * *

"_Still?"_

_The man watched as his long-term acquaintance squarely met his gaze and nodded._

"_It's been years."_

"_She's it."_

_He allowed that to sink in. "Have you talked to her?"_

"_She's grieving."_

"_She won't always be." A sigh had him changing tactics. "Try courting her."_

_A pause. "Courting?"_

_The man smirked. "Women are different. You have to convince her to fall in love with you."_

_Crystal clear blue eyes captured the man's violet ones. "How?"_

_A smile. "I have much to teach you."_

...

It started three months after the well allowed her back. Small flowers appeared on the doorstep to Kaede's hut in the morning, specifically picked for the future miko that lived within.

She first noticed they would match the ones she placed over Inuyasha's grave marker. She merely assumed it was the work of Sango and Miroku; their quiet way of offering her support as she grieved the loss of her love. Whereas the monk and taijiya had the year to grieve since the passing of their friend, Kagome had found out as soon as she returned to the Feudal Era. What should have been a joyous return instead held sorrow and grief.

After two weeks, the flowers shifted. Rather than ones she found all over Inuyasha's forest, others started showing up. Blossoms from various parts of Japan arrived, reminding her of times chasing jewel shards those years ago. Each one held a meaning, referenced a memory, feeding her belief that her two friends were watching out for her.

It wasn't until those two left to extract a youkai from a nearby village that she realized her assumption had been wrong.

After the taijiya settled back home from the visit while Miroku was off gathering the twins from Kaede's, Kagome brought it up.

"Flowers? Someone's been leaving you flowers?" Sango had asked in surprise.

Too late, the miko realized her mistake.

"Kagome! You have to find out who!"

...

She stopped waking up to visions of amber eyes around the sixth month. The pang of loss, while still present, had lessened to a manageable one. Oddly enough, she was grateful for the three years the jewel forced her to live in the future. She knew how to live without him and slowly modified that practice into one of permanence.

The consistent reminders of him in the village were still present, still painful, but she could go through a day without feeling the temptation to break under the burden. It was during one of these days that Kagome chanced a return to the well.

Even though she had long since accepted her fate of living in the past, Miroku accompanied her, claiming that he simply needed fresh, quiet air away from the loud females currently running his home. While she saw truth in that statement, she knew his presence stemmed from worry over her, and that Sango had pushed him to accompany her.

To her surprise, the well had not fallen into disrepair. The grass around the structure was still green and gone were some of the weeds she remembered. Instead, a few of the flowers that had made their way to her doorstep had been planted around the base.

"Sango tells me you have been receiving gifts."

There's a lilt in his voice that gives him away. She turned on the cunning monk with narrow eyes, one eyebrow poised in suspicion. "You know who it is."

Rather than the deflection she had been expecting, he met her gaze with a somber expression she had only seen a handful of times. "Don't ask if you're not ready for the answer."

Her immediate reaction of indignation was smothered by the ever-present pang in her heart. She wasn't ready. To ask now would be to throw out that opportunity forever. While the miko was ready to move on to a life without him, her heart wasn't stable enough to open to a new possibility just yet.

With a humble nod, she turned back to the beautiful flowers swaying in the gentle breeze.

...

"_How did you know she wasn't ready?"_

"_She cries his name in her sleep."_

_Thinking on the chance of losing his wife the way she lost her hanyou, he understands. "How long will you wait?"_

"_As long as she needs."_

...

When she visits the tree on the seventh month, her entire day is spent in tears at the base of its trunk. She returns every couple days, crying and screaming and whimpering and grieving her pain away. It's cathartic, the abuse she can put the tree through. She can punch its bark with reiki-laden fists without fear of purifying it; she can climb through its branches without fear of tearing it down; she can curl up and sleep underneath it's leaves without fear of smothering it.

Most importantly, she can visit the tree without fear of it changing.

...

The eighth month sends her spiraling. Silver hair and amber eyes visit the village, she assumes solely for the human ward left to learn from Kaede. After bestowing the growing girl with gifts of kimonos and time, he seeks her out, finding her in the field they pick their herbs from.

Much to her surprise, the lord lowers himself to the ground next to her, the shifting of swords and armor the only sound he makes. The two sit in silence, not an uncomfortable one, but not a filling one either.

The sun has already started to sink below the horizon when he moves, striped hands reaching through the many folds of his clothing. The flash of purple draws her gaze and she stares wide-eyed at the necklace that used to adorn her beloved's neck. His hands move again and she can't help but sob at the tarnished weapon he reveals.

She finds the two items carefully placed in her lap. He stands at that, graceful movements that go unnoticed by the very shaken miko. A warm hand caresses her hair, a gesture she vaguely recalls witnessing him minister to Rin many years ago.

"You will always be pack to this Sesshomaru."

She fell asleep in the field, curled around the fang that had saved her life so many times.

The next morning, she opened her eyes to find herself completely surrounded by flowers. They spoke of mountains and water.

...

"Kagome!"

The ninth month is spent with Shippo, learning all about what the kitsune's been up to. It takes her a week to get used to his height, having hit a growth spurt and now standing at her shoulder. He explains youkai growth, warning her that he'll be taller than her within a year. He shows her the new tricks he's learned through control over his expanding youki while she tells stories of what happened during the years she was separated from him.

Flowers appear the second morning of his stay, but he remains silent. The miko quietly watches him investigate the blooms, leaning over to catch their scent. She silently curses the recognition that crosses his face. Miroku's words dance in her mind and she decides she's still not ready to ask.

It's a lie. She's just not ready to ask _him_.

...

Shippo stays through the tenth month and into the eleventh month. She knows why he's staying, but remains quiet. As much as she doesn't want to interrupt the kit's life, she doesn't want to face the next month alone.

...

"_How long have you been watching over her?"_

_Violet eyes flicker from green to blue, waiting._

"_Since she returned."_

"_She doesn't know you're here."_

"_She wasn't ready."_

"_What makes you think she's ready now?"_

"_Because you didn't tell her who keeps leaving flowers."_

_He smiled at the male's answer, watching as the kitsune nodded in understanding._

"_I just want her happy."_

_A soft smile, then the ruffle of hair. "So do I."_

...

When she sees a tornado off in the distance a week before the date she was trying not to think about, she had the strangest sense of relief. In the past, that cyclone used to bring about another mixture of feelings, because no matter how much she might have enjoyed the ookami's company, it always led to her refereeing a fight.

The villagers, while more accepting than most, were still weary of youkai and even more of moving natural disasters. With Kirara's help, she went toward the incoming friend. That they met near the well didn't cross her mind; at least, she refused to acknowledge it.

As she watched his approach, she stuttered. Would he greet her as he used to, cradling her hands in his and immediately inquiring about her personal health? Would he still profess his love for her at the top of his lungs for all to hear? Or did the years change their friendship, driving a wide divide between them? Would there even be a difference? Was he still the same youkai? How much has really changed?

The dust settled and to her instant relief, the ookami in front of her held the exact appearance as the one dancing in her memories. Those striking blue eyes peered down at her as she heard her name leave his lips on the all-too-familiar baritone. When he smiled and opened his arms, she found herself stepping into them.

A friend was exactly what she needed.

...

They laughed over dinner each night for the next week. At first, she was worried the conversation would dry, they would run out of things to talk about, and he would be off to return to his pack. The Alpha gave her a wry smile and claimed his pack was in good hands; they would be fine without him for a while.

Kagome didn't completely believe him. He laughed at her reaction, a loud, booming, infectious laugh that had her giggling along.

"You are not to worry about my pack," he brushed off.

Much to her surprise, he accompanied her to the grave marker on the anniversary of her return. The loud, brash youkai remained quiet, respectful of her purpose for the visit. He followed her as far as she wanted and when she turned to ask for privacy, he was already walking away. He didn't leave, though. His youki danced around the area, careful to let her know he was still there without invading her space.

The miko didn't know how long she sat at the marker, talking in nonsense to the memory of her best friend. She laughed, she mourned, she cried, and then she smiled. The pang in her heart had lessened, no longer all-encompassing.

She could look back and smile. She didn't have to lie anymore.

When the two returned to the village, she was led to the field to find _everyone_. Miroku and Sango had laid out a picnic, oh so reminiscent of the meals they used to indulge in every now and then during their travels. Kaede watched the twins, patiently explaining the different herbs found in the field and their various uses. Rin stoked the fire under the sharp supervision of her lord while Shippo did everything he could to escape those knowing amber eyes.

When those eyes turned to the miko and her accompanying ookami, she saw them as only Sesshomaru's and knew.

Her grieving period was over.

...

"_I hear you treat her as pack?"_

_Amber eyes narrowed. "She _is_ pack."_

_Silence stretched between the two males. The peacekeeping human nudged his friend._

"_I wish to openly court her."_

"_And if this one disapproves?"_

_A snort. "I'll do it anyway and let her choose."_

_A long pause, but those blue eyes refused to back down._

"_Hn."_

...

Before she knew it, the fourteenth month had come and gone. She had new constants, different roles to fill. Miroku and Sango fought tooth and nail to keep her in their family, no matter how large it grew. Kaede was getting older, as was Rin, and the two of them had found a good rhythm together, both making sure Kagome was around to help with miko duties. Shippo bounced in and out, never being gone for too long and always returning for her to nurture. Sesshomaru's visits were no longer alarming or draining and after a few times, she found a silent companion to critique her archery.

Kouga...Kouga _stayed_.

To her surprise, the flowers continued.

...

Sixteen, seventeen, a year and a half hit. But she didn't think of it that way. Time had shifted, continuing on its way in mystery, and she now thought of it as six months since _he_ returned. The Alpha left a few times, fulfilling pack duties and taking care of the wolves, but he always, _always_ came back. The two celebrated with Miroku and Sango over the discovery of her new pregnancy, spied on Rin when Sesshomaru kept watch, laughed with Shippo over his stories of kitsunes and trickery.

For the first time since her return, Kagome was happy.

...

"Have you found anyone, Kouga? Any female waiting back at the den for you?"

She ignored the fear of his answer.

A wry smile shown on his face, one she recognized he used before deflecting her questions. "No, Kagome," he responded softly, "no one is waiting for me."

She scoffed. "I don't believe that, you're such a catch. There must be someone."

Blue eyes filled with emotion, _too much emotion_, were her reply. Her breath caught and she turned, ignoring the burn of her cheeks, the tightening of her throat.

"What about you, Kagome?" he murmured, his tone telling more than his words as her name rolled off his tongue. "Has anyone caught your eye?"

She stared over the field they sat in, seeing flowers upon flowers. Blooms coming in, petals dancing in the sunlight, lush greenery the steady backdrop of color. She blew out a sigh, at a loss for words.

"There must be someone." She turned back to him, taking in the contemplative look on his face. "You always seem to have an abundance of flowers."

She returned his wry smile. "I don't know who they're from."

He shifted and then his voice was in her ear. "Do you want to?"

The shiver racing down her spine spoke of more than his seemingly innocent question. Turning oh so slightly, she was a breath away from him, losing herself in the deep sea of his gaze.

Her answer was a breath over his lips before they gently pressed into hers.

"_Yes._"

...

She had never been so excited at the sight of a tornado in her life.

He stopped at her door, the dust not even having settled before she was in his arms, holding him close to her.

"I missed you," she breathed, no attempt at hiding her heart.

"I missed you, too." Lips pressed against her hair, hands sweeping up and down her back.

"How did your visit go?" Strange, to call the short return to his pack a visit.

"Would have been better had you come with me."

She laughed at that, stepping out of his embrace to look up at the tall male. She couldn't resist tucking an errant strand of hair behind his pointed ear; he couldn't resist leaning into her touch.

"Would you like to come in?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

...

"_It's working."_

_A sigh. "I hope it is."_

"_Have you told her?"_

_A pause. Hesitation showed on the male's face. "Not yet."_

"_Why not?"  
_

"_She'll ask when she's ready to know."_

...

The night he returned, he made her dinner. He planned the entire thing, carrying her away from the village to the field she loved to spend time in. He had splurged, testing his speed to bring her fresh fish and roast them over a small fire.

She loved every minute of it.

They ate in silence, simply content to enjoy each other's company. Outside of the first gentle kiss and the few hugs for his trips, physical contact remained limited. When she grabbed her second fish off the fire and a raw one for him, she broke the pattern and settled against his side.

His body stilled underneath her ministrations, first in shock, then in patience to allow her to get comfortable. As soon as she settled, she was wrapped in his embrace, the strength of his arm comforting around her waist. When she finished eating, he nudged her head to rest against his shoulder.

After the fire died to smoldering ashes and the stars in the moonless sky sparkled, the pang of memories washed over her. She allowed her chin to be turned, angled to look up at his dark figure.

Their second kiss was nothing like the ghost of contact that was their first. She lost herself in his taste, then found herself in his arms.

...

She woke in the field, his warmth seeping in through her back. The weight of his arm caged her to him, nestled across her belly as his breath puffed over her neck. Their legs were entwined, the soft fur on his shins welcoming the smooth skin on hers, her kimono twisted around her knees. One of his arms was stretched out underneath her, her head cradled on his strong bicep.

Her eyes opened to find a single camellia lying loosely in the claws right in front of her gaze.

When she reached out with tentative fingers to stroke the red petals, his lips pressed over her pulse. "It's beautiful," she whispered.

A thrum vibrated out of him and through her, a pleased response at her acceptance.

"How long?"

"I never stopped."

She shifted, turning in his hold to look at him. He couldn't help but smile at her mused hair, grass sticking out from flyaway curls. "Why did you wait so long?"

His hand left her stomach to brush through those curls, freeing them from the collar of her clothing. "You weren't ready."

A teasing smile slowly shifted over her lips. "That never stopped you before."

He groaned in embarrassment, drawing out a feminine giggle from the woman lying next to him. He waited for her mirth to subside. "I learned."

...

Nine months after he returned, Kaede fell ill. The younger miko and even younger healer tried every antidote and herbal concoction they could think of, but the elder's stubbornness won out.

"I have lived my life," she rasped on the last day Kagome stayed in that hut. "You both have the rest of yours to look after."

Kagome allowed Rin her privacy to say goodbye, taking comfort in Kouga's strong silence outside. The youkai didn't embrace, didn't speak, simply sat and waited. She was grateful for his perception.

When Kagome entered the hut after Rin's exit, she couldn't help the tears.

"Now Kagome." The endearment was so familiar, so personal. "My sister wished Inuyasha to live his life after her and he wished the same for you." Kagome's breath hitched as the tears gathered in her eyes fell down her cheeks.

"Love again. He is worth it."

...

Kaede passed the next morning.

...

A week later, Sesshomaru returned for Rin. The now of-age human ward chose a life with her lord and followed him from the village with nothing but the kimono he brought for her.

Two weeks, Shippo returned to his kitsune training for good, promising to find her as soon as it was completed. He begrudgingly took the beads Kagome had thrust into his hands. She reasoned that it was something from both of them should he need them close. He kissed her forehead and left before the tears fell.

Three weeks, Miroku and Sango packed up their hut. "Come with us, Kagome." They were going to rebuild Sango's village. She looked over at her ookami companion who remained silent in his enigmatic way as she weighed the options of leaving the little village she had grown to call home.

"We can at least travel with them."

Looking back on it, she only agreed because he said _we_.

...

They traveled slow, careful of the taijiya's pregnancy. Even with her riding Kirara for the majority of the trip, the monk kept a slow, consistent pace. Kagome would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it.

She spent her days talking to Kouga, telling him the full story of finding her way to this time. The ookami had known about the well, known about her era after the jewel had taken her back, but he was intrigued to hear the story from her lips. In turn, he told her all he could of his pack, his family, his life as an ookami.

When they weren't telling stories, they were learning from each other's knowledge. Kagome identified many different plants for him, telling him of the different uses she knew of. Kouga told her of the animals they encountered, teaching her how to identify the bird from the lilt of its song. Together, they entertained the twin daughters that had become enthralled by their different stories.

At night, she ignored knowing looks and fell asleep by his side.

...

The air was sacred when they entered the compound, having remained undisturbed all these years. The normally rambunctious twins followed their mother in awe as they toured the remains of the taijiya's home.

"Please stay tonight," the monk implored, the request for Kagome as much as it was Kouga.

A silent exchange had the two helping clean the main hut.

...

"_She won't stay here."_

"_I know."  
_

"_Don't let her return."_

_A silent moment, then a whisper. "I intend to take her with me."_

"_To visit?"_

"_To live."_

...

"Come with me," he murmured in her ear the next morning. Early morning rays were beginning to peek into the hut, lighting the family that was still asleep across from them.

She turned in his arms, so similar to the first time she found herself waking in his embrace. Little did she know then how much she would grow to need the contact. "Kouga?"

His nose traced down hers, stopping to minister a pleading kiss to her lips. "Come home with me."

"To the den?"

He nodded.

"For how long?"

He stilled.

"To live," she read from his expression.

"Think about it." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, not wanting to push for an answer and walk away hurt.

"It would be forever."

He fought back a grimace at the hesitation in her voice. "Only if you choose it."

She gave him a kiss of her own, then settled back into his embrace to sleep the last bits of the night away. "I'll think about it."

...

"Do you love him?"

"What?"

The very pregnant, easily aggravated, emotionally volatile taijiya fixed her with a hard stare that would rival her own mother's. "Do you love him?" she repeated with accentuated words.

"What if that isn't enough?"

"It was enough for Inuyasha."

Harsh truth, but one the miko needed to hear.

"He did it right this time. He's been watching over you since you returned, was a friend when you needed one, courted you the way you deserved, and now he's offering you a lifetime of happiness."

_He is worth it_.

"Do you love him?"

"_Yes._"

...

"Don't forget about us."

She smiled at her surrogate family, knowing this was not a final goodbye. Time had shifted and again, she was moving on. But forgetting?

"Never."

The pair walked down the path away from the compound, the ookami purposefully quiet to allow his intended time. When they reached the end of the hill, the road leveling out, Kagome turned towards the one she fell in love with, the one who gave her a second chance. She took time to make up her mind by adjusting the fang strapped along with her bow and arrows on her back.

His bright eyes watched her as she approached, then widened in confusion as she walked around him. Her hands gripped his shoulders and he leant down at her insistence. Before he knew what she was doing, she was on his back, her legs wrapped around his hips. He gripped her thighs, shifting her weight enough to align her with his balance.

It was easy to run that way, and run he did. The wind whipped through their hair as his muscles bunched and released, sending them flying over the earth. He kept his movements smooth at first, worried about jarring the miko on his back, but her laughter threw him.

"Kouga, how do you think we chased after Naraku?" she pointed out. "Run. Don't worry about me."

It was long past dark when they arrived at his den. She climbed down from his back when the waterfall came into view under the moonlight and they slowly walked up. A wolf's howl made her jump and an amused Kouga swept her into his arms.

"Let's get you to bed. You can greet everyone in the morning."

His furs were as soft as she remembered.

...

A month passed. Kagome woke up in Kouga's embrace, his heartbeat drumming a steady tattoo against her ear. Skin and fur were soft underneath her fingers, his tail draped over her hip. He released her when she shifted, allowing her to stretch out her slumber before pulling her to her feet to start the day.

After a bath, she went searching for a few female ookami. A short conversation, some rustling through the den, and she was quickly ushered back to the private room she shared with Kouga.

Kouga returned to find a blushing miko dressed only in furs.

...

"Kagome."

His voice had shifted, heat rumbling low over the large expanse of skin her fur left exposed. He moved, slowly approaching her as she refused to turn away. The blue of his gaze was piercing, youki making it glow against the dark walls, full of want, need, love.

"Are you sure?"

"More than anything."

"This is forever."

She studied him for a moment and his heart stopped.

"This is forever with _you_."

Just as they had for countless nights before, Kagome settled down with Kouga that night. Unlike any other night before, his hands swept over her, slowly unwrapping soft fur from her body, baring her to his gaze. His lips followed, burning over skin as she responded in throaty gasps of his name. Skin slid against skin, roaming, exploring, testing, loving. Reiki and youki crackled over the room as the two bodies danced, entwined as the two hearts loved, then melded as the two souls completed their bond.

...

Time passed differently for the future miko thrown into the past era, no longer counted in months, weeks, or days filled with bursts between past grief and current joy. Time passed in moments, touches, memories spent loving the one who taught her how to love again.


End file.
